“IF MY PEOPLE.”

this morning at work there was a traveling monument to 9/11. it’s called Day of Thunder. a couple hundred motorcycles go down rt. 36. a string of city cops go before them and a string of state cops follow them. Trooper 5, our medivac helicopter flew low over them. at the end the intersection, lavale’s fire department had a huge flag hanging over the highway from one of their truck ladders.

 

as much as i disagree with our president. as much as i fear for our future. as much as i worry about the world my children will inherit, i’m still proud of our country. maybe not for the glorious things they’ve done, but just because it’s MY country.

“if my people shall call on my name and humble themselves, i will raise them up and make them great.”

Strengths and Struggles

In the past few weeks, I’ve sent out more resumes than i care to admit. Selling yourself to a company you’ll more than likely hate is tiring… but it also makes you think …I’m not the most athletic guy.

I’m funny, but there are funnier. I’m smart but I’m not the smartest. It’s quite humbling to realize that no matter what I may think I excel at, there is always going to be one (probably many) other person(s) who are better. discouraging? not necessarily. 

 Through the years, I’ve come to recognize what my spiritual gifts are. I know they include giving and mercy. I also know what my talents are: resourceful, people-smart, and clever. But like we learned in strategic management, having all the resources and plans in the world is useless unless you can implement them.

Basically, I need more discipline. I think kelly and i need more of it as a couple. Right now, we’re in a difficult spot with work, school, and family all fighting for time…but I don’t think i handle my responsibilities as well as i should. I got in trouble for missing to much work. I have consistent grades, but they’re not at the level i’d like. Being a new bride, kelly rightfully wants to develop a lot of intimacy, which requires time. so…what do i do

 Right now, i get between 5 and 6 hours of sleep a night…should i be staying up later to get more quantity of work done yet sacrifice more quality? I’m not sure.

Here’s what i want to do.

Kelly and I had always enjoyed going to starbucks or the BiffCAT to read and drink coffee. Although reading isn’t really good interaction, it’s something that winds us down and is also productive when it’s required reading for school. Generally we watch Friends or the Office, but I want us to be a reading couple. Right now, i’ll be reading school or business stuff, but come may, we can read books on marriage or other stuff and discuss them.

Secondly i want us to develop a more regular time for prayer and bible study. we don’t do this nearly as much as we should. I think the benefits are three fold like Chandler living in a box. The first are the benefits from a close relationship with God: more christlike lives and marriage. Secondly, when we open up ourselves to God in the context of our marriage, we are allowing the other to see the real us. We both want more of that. Thirdly it is more concentrated time of intentional intimacy. Quality vs. quantity time kind of a thing.

So yeah…those are my guts. i just spilled them. i want to be a godly man with my godly wife raising godly children. It will be much easier if we set those patterns now rather than in 2,5, or 10 years. It’s hard being so busy, but i know it would be worth it… I love my wife. she’s my best friend and the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want to be the husband she deserves, and i think being more disciplined will make me a better husband to my wife. a better father to my children. a better worker for my employer. and most importantly a better servant for my Lord. 

Stream of Conscience

“Just tune in, turn off, drop out, drop in, switch off, switch on, and explode”

So this week has been absolutely, positively, without a doubt one of the busiest weeks I have ever experienced. I was scheduled to work 30 hours this week in addition to my normal class load. I had a political science paper due tuesday. I thought it was due thursday when I found out Tuesday that it’s due Tuesday. I had about half of it completed. So I finished my day classes and ran home. I decided to skip my boring night class to finish my poli. sci. paper. I still had a test in plato, a paper in strategic management, and a test in auditing to study for. Wednesday i called off work and started studying for my tests. I found out wednesday that my strategic management paper was pushed back till a date to be determined. Yesterday came and went. I took my tests and Plato went a lot better than i thought it would. Auditing went as well as I thought.

 “Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box; they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe.”

Lately I’ve been kinda down. I’m sure the sheer exhaustion has a lot to do with it. Right now Kelly and I are living off what little income we have plus what’s left of my savings. For a guy that’s huge… for me (an accountant) it’s even more so. We’re banking so much my getting a good job. I need money to cover expenses plus start saving again. It’s always on the the back of my mind, but I have faith God will provide for us. I’ve also been really self-conscious about my appearance. Over the past few months I’ve put on about 20 pounds… which is really noticeable. I’ve decided to start exercising regularly, and I’ve changed my diet already… it’s hard when a double cheeseburger is so much cheaper than salad stuff. I just don’t need to be stressed about this when there’s a lot of other stuff going on. For now, I’ll be like the blue people…

 

“They’re great! They’re just… chilled out!”  

Married life is better than ever. Kelly’s been wonderful and supportive through everything. She’s amazing and I love her so much. We’re surviving though. Keeping faith that God will take care of us when we get to Cumberland. 

 

47 days till Maryland.  

THIS JUST IN!

WE GOT THE APARTMENT ON WASHINGTON STREET!!!!!!W3 m0v3 1n 0n the 14th of m4y!f4r3w3ll stupid old b34v3r f4lls! 

Today

So today has been up and down… mostly up, but one down is enough to put a damper on the evening. Work was good. I was busy and went fast (especially the second half). Class went well. When i got home, the apartment smelled bad because of some chicken we had the other night. I took the garbage out and lit every candle within a one mile radius. The job search is going okay..however…there’s someone in mine and kelly’s past that really stirs things up… it’s a her… she used to like me and has had a really hard time getting over her feelings… in fact i don’t think she’s tried at all. anytime she tries to communicate, kelly gets upset; and understandably so.If i were to die right now…there would be only one thing i would want to say before my last breath escapes me…and that is to let my wife know just how much i love her. I never want anything to make kelly feel like she has to compete for my time or attention. I’ve done everything i can to avoid that girl… i just want kelly to know how i feel. how my desire is only for her and her well being. i love you kelly. you’re my love. my future. my wife. 

207 Washington Street Apt. 4

So my weekend here in cumberland with kelly is quickly coming to an end. It was good, albeit short. I had my interview at Timbrook’s on the seventh. It went well i suppose. Since I don’t know Freddie that well, I had a hard time reading him; so I’m not sure if I rocked it or sucked.

Then I started the interview process with the United States Postal Service, which will be interesting. So I’m known for my disdain for government bureaucracy… but they pay $20/hour… that’s base pay. that’s for a window clerk. There are 2,080 hours in a year, which puts me just over 41k. They said there’s required overtime that usually puts people over 57k. Why, yes I would love to deliver mail : )

I still have to take a test and get an interview first… so that’s still in the works. I also have my cover letter, resume, and references being sent out to First Peoples Credit Union and the Western Maryland Health System. I have faith that God will provide for Kelly and me… I’m sure I’ll get one of those four jobs.

Throughout our visit, kelly and i had been looking at houses and apartments to rent; we had an appointment for saturday at 11 to go look at a one bedroom apt. on washington street, which is in the rich historical district of Cumberland. Kelly and I were so tired, we were almost going to call and cancel, but we dragged ourselves out of bed and went. Boy, are we glad we did! the apartment was beautiful, and even though it’s only one bedroom, it’s rather large. The size, the location, and the price were the good things. The lack of laundry, awkward closets, and hosts of stairs were the downers… but nothing a laundramat and an extra dresser can’t fix ; )

welp we’re off to church, so we’ll see you soon

Another Day In The Life of Me

I’m getting tired of target. It’s not rewarding. It’s full of foolish people. So last week, I ( a backroom person) worked in the backroom from start to finish of my shift. Then this week our leaders had us push. so instead of backstocking and pulling stuff out of the warehouse, i was in the store rotating perishable food and putting new stuff on shelves. i hate that job. and the only reason i was doing it was because the team that normally does it is 1) inept and 2) short-handed. a killer combo.

So I, as gracefully as i possibly could, said “this is getting old” to my team lead. he then later took me into the electronics stockroom (where they can’t hear me scream)… he started off with noticing that i was complaining… i panicked and apologized for being negative. You see, Target encourages us to be positive. delusionally positive. like someone in Hiroshima in 1945 saying “what’s that pleasant glow on the horizon?” kind of positive. So he interrupted me and said, “dude. i’m not mad. i just don’t want you to quit. you work hard.”
and then i felt good.

Also on friday, i busted the last hump i had ( a busy week required me to bust a lot of humps…. sorry fergie) to get to school after work. the roads were gosh awful… i parked on the most level place i could find and ran (slid on my arse) the whole way to northwood. Laruen P. saw this and laughed at me in my disheveled state and said, “classes are cancelled.”
boo.

i went in anyways…i figured the very least i could do was talk to the prof. for a bit…get my money’s worth. I ended up talking to Prof. Raver and the head of the business department, Dr. Nutter for a half hour at least. it was really good and i learned so much. that’s what it’s supposed be like. education that is…. i was excited to learn about what they had to say, and they were clearly glad to have a student who cared…. it was practical, reflected years of experience and theory and just…pure… it was good.

Kelly’s at work right now, so i’ve been reading Good to Great and watching Friends. She needs to come home. I miss her : (

Fulfilling day

Ever have one of those days where at the end of it you look back and think, “holy crap…i was really productive.” i skipped gym, but other than that i was really busy and productive. I skipped auditing too… i just remembered that…school took a hit today no that i think about it lol. i studied political science from 8 till just  before the test…. i think i did okay. then i went to plato which was good. reading gorgius, which isn’t my favorite, but the Fraze makes it entertaining.  Then i came home and started working my butt off. I guess it’s just another day in the life of a mom, but for me it’s new and tiring. I picked up around the apartment, did a sink full of dishes, made the bed, and did 2 loads of laundry. i can’t imagine what Charlotte goes through with all that plus 2 kids.  anyways, tonight kelly and i have been chilling. she made dinner and we went to target for a bit. now we’re watching friends. i’m blogging and she’s folding the laundry. it’ s a good simple life and i wouldn’t trade anything in the world for it. i love her with all my heart.  tomorrow’s an easy day. i work from 6 a.m. till 2. then i have class till 3.30. then I’ll come back to the apartment and clean out my car since we’re heading to Bloomsburg and Cumberland on Sunday. Then I’ll make up my reference list for Mr. Timbrook. I want to read this book i bought the other night called Good to Great by Jim Collins. It’s a good book for future strategic managers : ) anyways. i’m going to dote over my wife.till next time friends. 

So tired…

This has been, by far one of the most taxing weeks for me of the semester. With Spring break quickly approaching (next week), ever professor believes it is their God-given mission to administer exams. I had auditing and managerial accounting yesterday. Friday I had Strategic Management. Tomorrow I have Political Science. Boo Hiss. I’m exhausted right now. I can’t even study. i’m going to take a nap…study a bit. go to target with my wife and study tomorrow morning. i’ll probably fail, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take at this point. Outside of my fatigue, life has been going really well. I feel like I did fairly well on the three exams i’ve taken thus far. Spring break is welcomed although I’m not sure how restful it will be. We’ll be at my house sunday afternoon and I’ll interview with Timbrooks. Wednesday we’ll probably go to bloomsburg, so Kelly can see her parents a bit. I’m supposed to work on Friday, but we’ll see if that really happens.  

Gym Class

I’m married…I’m a senior.a graduating senior nonetheless…i work full time…i have 15 other credits….at what point does my instructor think i should care about aerobics? the whole time i’m jazz-ercising i’m writing her end of semester eval….